3 Ways to Be Kind To Yourself
A lot of us may be told that we should kind to others, especially on the spiritual path. But, what about being kind to ourselves?
When we were growing up, we may have been told that parts of us were not good — that they were to be suppressed, denied, and disowned. We may think that certain emotions are “bad” so we may suppress such emotions.
We may have unkind thoughts and beliefs towards ourselves such as “I am not good enough, I am not deserving, I am unwanted.” We may have even repeated such thoughts to ourselves so much so that we are accustomed to harshness; harshness towards ourselves and others.
And, we may have so much self-hate that the concept of being kind to ourselves sounds foreign.
How To Be Kinder To Ourselves
If the concept of being kind to yourself is foreign to you. You can start by being softer and gentle with yourselves through the 3 tips below.
#1: Treat ourselves as our best friend we love
What if we can start by treating and talking to ourselves as our best and loving friend?
Would we still judge ourselves for falling short, perhaps because where we are isn’t where we envisioned ourselves to be, or we don’t have what we perceive someone else to have?
Would we base our self worth on others’ opinions of us?
Would we still say unkind words to ourselves?
We can start by being more gentle with ourselves, by thinking softer thoughts such as “How can I be kinder to myself?” “I am worthy just as I am. I don’t need to prove myself.”
#2: Be with our negative emotions and soothe our inner child
In times when we are scared and triggered, whether we’re angry, frustrated, we can be with and soothe our inner child by telling him/her “I see you. I understand why you’re scared. It’s OK to feel whatever it is that you are feeling right now. I am with you.” Instead of pushing our inner child away, we are actually embracing him/her.
When we start accepting the parts of ourselves we are shamed of, denied, and disowned, we become more compassionate and gentle towards ourselves.
While the harshness and judgement we have towards ourselves and our past may prevent us from moving forward fully, we can still begin by cultivating kindness to ourselves by thinking gentler thoughts towards ourselves.
#3: Understand that loving kindness is a practice, and extend compassion to the part of us that is judging us
Loving kindness toward ourselves is a practice, moment to moment — a practice of being with ourselves, of reminding ourselves of self love amidst the noise, or when our internal parents start telling us where we are falling short. And, we may fall off track at times. It maybe a back and forth.
And, even if we fall short of being kind to ourselves from time to time, can we extend compassion to the part of us that is judging us? Perhaps that part is just afraid, and it needs your love just as much as the part of you that has been judged.
Through being with our inner child, we cultivate kindness and compassion towards ourselves, and to others. But, we cannot rush the healing process, as forgiveness towards ourselves may take as long as it needs.
And, as we continue to practice loving kindness towards ourselves, our perspective towards ourselves and the world may change, dramatically. We may truly see the gifts of our past, and set ourselves free from “karma” as a result.
In this space of loving kindness toward ourselves, we may start to attract different circumstances and people who reflect the kindness we have toward ourselves back to us. We can then extend this kindness onwards.
To learn more about transforming your beliefs and resolving emotional wounds from the past, please visit www.nicolelana.com and connect with me via Instagram or Medium.
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Remember to check out my other articles on wellbeing here:
#1: How to Change Your Karma, Destiny & Future
#2: Be Present by Positively Embracing Your Negative Emotions
#3: How to Cultivate Self Love and Compassion
#4: How to be Present, Heal & Reprogram Your Subconscious
#5: A Simple Trick From a Zen Master Will Help You Sleep Better Tonight
#6: Why Pursuing Our Desires is Key to Spiritual Mastery
#7: If You Dive Deep Into Your Shadow, You’ll Find Your Life Purpose
#8: Are Desires Wrong or Key to Healing?
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